This was my OOTD yesterday. My oldest son took this photo, and I fell in love with it. My blouse is Lane Bryant bought at the Goodwill, my skirt is also from the Goodwill. My lipstick and chipped nail polish are Wet n' Wild. My glasses are Zenni Optical.
I keep looking at this photo. I've never seen one of my profile. For my entire life I've avoided pictures with them. When I was younger I wanted a silhouette picture, I was told no. Not just a simple no, but the reasoning was I had a flat big nose with no profile. So I believed it. I blelieved that many other lies that stole my self esteem. I was told the way I pronounced words was wrong, sent to classes to "correct" (colonize) the way in which I learned to speak. I'm told my skin is too dark.
I was told my head and hood were too big. I was told to sit in the back of class. I was told boys don't like smart girls, that wasn't pretty so I should learn to cook. I was told I'd never succeed, that I was weak. I was told to show my body and to hide it. I was told I was lazy, and u wasn't worth it. I'm told boys will be boys, and have to learn people will always make excuses.
I'm told I'm fat, lazy, a bad mom and wife. I'm told I've wasted my life and what I should of been and could of been. I'm still being told I'm not enough.
All these things and more shaped me more than I had realized. Now I'm a forty years old...and I start to recover. Also, I'm enough, I'm beautiful and anyone worth it will like a smart woman who challenges them. I can roll my r's and say my name the way it's meant.
