Name In Stone

This is where I spent my morning volunteering with San Bernardino County Master Gardeners. When there are no pending calls, or emails to the helpline I read through materials that are available. I watch videos on YouTube on gardening and urban homesteading.

Here is my orange tree that is grafted. We mostly get blood oranges and this year we seem to be getting what is like a cross between a lemon and an orange. We shall see what the season continues to bring.

Here I am on a ladder up in the lowest parts of my pecan tree. Notice I am in skirt. Really, I think there is so much I can do in a dress or in a skirt. That is how I go through like, finding challenges and going forth. It really wasn't that long ago that women worked and even hiked long distances in skirts and dresses. This is how I am choosing to go through my life.

5 dry liters of pecans....there's plenty more where those came from.

 

Because I love my leggings...

 

  

After harvesting pecans.

OOTD: 

Top- Torrid (second hand from my cousin)

Skirt: Old Navy (via Goodwill)

Leggings: Torrid (last years clearance find)

Boots; Kenneth Cole (via Goodwill)

Brown Skinned Girl

Today I have spent some time writing some poetry and reading. I changed some of the books out in my Little Free Library. Also, did some planning on what to do with my front yard and clean it up. I really need to get some lettuces in the ground. There is much tending needing to be done all over my yard. My oldest daughter and I would like to have some prairie dresses, aprons, and summer bonnets to work in the yard with next summer. She is good with the sewing machine so we should look for some patterns and fabrics. For some people this may seem weird, but we will be comfortable and we like to dress up.
 Music pulsed through my ears from time to time and so did some emotions. When I write I get emotional, and so be it. That is part of the process for me. For the most part of my life it has been. Right now I am also coming up with a name for my collection of poems. I know the call for submissions is no guarantee, but I need to step out of my comfort zone. I need to keep stepping forward and doing things I have always wanted to. Soon, I need to edit and work on the novel
I wrote in 2008. One thing at a time, and one tick off my bucket list at a time.
Today is the Marine Corps. birthday and we celebrated with free cheeseburgers from Farmer Bros. They always make good burgers. Thankful for that.
My friend shared me the Leon Bridges song that is in this post. It just speaks to me, the lyrics, the music, all of it. Growing up a brown girl was hard for me, it was a struggle. It was struggle when my mom and dad parted ways. It was struggle being told I wasn't good enough. It was a struggle being told I am too much.  This has been my life. This is a mindset I am trying to leave behind, not my browness, not my womeness, just that "too much" or "not good enough".

 

 OOTD:  

Sweater- Torrid

Skirt- Unique Vintage

Necklace- Made in the Phillipines (Goodwill)

Glasses: Zenni Optical

Watch: Fitbit

Headlights

I have been going through past experiences, in my thoughts I have been inventorying how they have made me feel. How they have shaped the woman I have become. Sometimes these thoughts, inventories manifest in tears, sometimes they manifest in poems, and sometimes a combination of both. Someday, hopefully soon I hope to become a better woman. A woman who has some sort of peace about her childhood and her past. Where questions can be asked and answered honestly. That means the woman I am needs to gain strength in her words, in her value, and in not allowing herself to be reduced to as small child.

All my life people have made me feel "not enough" or "too much". These are feelings that have found there way into my adult life, my life as a wife, and my life as a mother....and as a friend. Here I am just trying to be better and figure this all out at 41. Shouldn't I feel "just right" by now?

OOTD:

Blouse: Loulou de la Falaise via Goodwill

Skirt: Torrid (clearance)

Shoes: Payless Shoes (clearance)

Necklace: Goodwill

Glasses: Zenni Optical

Origami

     

This song is beautiful...

 

Today after dropping kids off at class, it was time for wondering and writing. I wondered around downtown and looked in some shops, and looked at art. I ended up at a Coffee Bean & Tea leaf where I drank iced tea, did some free writing and wrote a poem. I also wandered around Low'e looking at things it would be nice to have.....

OOTD:
Top: Torrid
Skirt: Torrid
Shoes: Payless
Choker: Torrid

You're Still A Mystery

So, I sit here watching the Cubs play the Dodgers at Wrigley field. My family is hoping the Cubs win this game. We just returned from a parent class for one of our kids who is in religious education at our local parish.

My life is full of so much love and so much pain. This is just how it is. When the catechist talked about stigmata, and my mind wandered to some of the trauma in my life that has been stirred up by recent events, I got that familiar tinge of pain in my hands. It wasn't too painful or searing like it has been in the past. The tinge was enough for me to know Christ has me in his presence and I can call on Him or the Saints when in need.
In an attempt to finance Christmas, and to get a new denture I am looking for some part time work in retail. So here's to seeing what is in store for me.
The vermiposting book that was lent to me is no too serious, and not too cheesey. It is indeed just what to read and not be overwhelmed.

OOTD:

Top: Pinup Girl Clothing

Skirt: Torrid

Choker: Torrid

Glasses: Zenni Optical

Song of the Day:

 

OOTD & Dressember Day 4

Dress is from Torrid (no longer for sale, Spring 2016 clearance)

Bolero is from Torrid (no longer for sale, circa 2011)

Belt is from Torrid (came with another dress I got at Goodwill)

Glasses are Zenni Optical

Earrings are from Arte De Familia

Hair Flower is made by me

Please donate to my Dressember Fundraiser

Black Dresses For You & Me

Dress By Niki Minaj for Kmart

Shoes are Self Esteem Footwear from Ross

 

 Dress is Joe Boxer from Kmart

 Dress Joe Boxer for Kmart

 Dress is by Niki Minaj for Kmart

 Dress is by Torrid from The Goodwill

Top is Torrid (from my cousin)

Skirt is a random Goodwill find

I promise more future full body pictures

OOTD: All Black Everything

 Long vest with pockets :Torrid (clearance)

 Cat Pin: Picked Up At I.E.ZineFest

 Black Shirt: LOLOL (second hand)

Cat Leggings: Torrid (clearance)

Watch: FitBit

Glasses:Zenni Optical

...cool woman in a black dress

Dress: Lane Bryant via Angel View Thrift Shop
Belt: Torrid worn backwards
Shoes: Mossimo Supply Co. via Goodwill
Sweater: George ME via Goodwill
New Glasses: Geek Eyewear via Sears Optical

Today was full of twists and turns. In the end it was good. My new glasses came in and I can see so clear now...it's amazing. I feel good. So so good. I am living life more now and taking things as they come. Happy to be me.

Love and Best Dresses,
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