Brown Skinned Girl

Today I have spent some time writing some poetry and reading. I changed some of the books out in my Little Free Library. Also, did some planning on what to do with my front yard and clean it up. I really need to get some lettuces in the ground. There is much tending needing to be done all over my yard. My oldest daughter and I would like to have some prairie dresses, aprons, and summer bonnets to work in the yard with next summer. She is good with the sewing machine so we should look for some patterns and fabrics. For some people this may seem weird, but we will be comfortable and we like to dress up.
 Music pulsed through my ears from time to time and so did some emotions. When I write I get emotional, and so be it. That is part of the process for me. For the most part of my life it has been. Right now I am also coming up with a name for my collection of poems. I know the call for submissions is no guarantee, but I need to step out of my comfort zone. I need to keep stepping forward and doing things I have always wanted to. Soon, I need to edit and work on the novel
I wrote in 2008. One thing at a time, and one tick off my bucket list at a time.
Today is the Marine Corps. birthday and we celebrated with free cheeseburgers from Farmer Bros. They always make good burgers. Thankful for that.
My friend shared me the Leon Bridges song that is in this post. It just speaks to me, the lyrics, the music, all of it. Growing up a brown girl was hard for me, it was a struggle. It was struggle when my mom and dad parted ways. It was struggle being told I wasn't good enough. It was a struggle being told I am too much.  This has been my life. This is a mindset I am trying to leave behind, not my browness, not my womeness, just that "too much" or "not good enough".

 

 OOTD:  

Sweater- Torrid

Skirt- Unique Vintage

Necklace- Made in the Phillipines (Goodwill)

Glasses: Zenni Optical

Watch: Fitbit

The More You Ingnore Me...

...the Closer I Get


     

Everyday is a good day for Morrissey, don't you think? I think so.  Although, mostly I listened to Harry Styles first release mostly. I still have a deep connection to Moz's music. You know, it's like listening to corrido's and ranchero's. Someone love lorn.....

This morning I volunteered with San Bernardino Master Gardener's at Redlands Certified Farmers Market. It is always interesting to see the people who come up and chat with us. I do enjoy people watching and talking, so it s a perfect setting for me. I came home and wrote for a bit the started a practice picture. Pencil drawing is something I am relearning, I enjoy it so much. Tomorrow my older boys have a religious rite so I spent some time getting proper clothing together for one of them, the other one has a suit. 

The other day I felt like I was coming out of my funk, but right now it's looming. I am okay though and probably just need to get better sleep and food in my body. There are different causes of this feeling for me, and right now I know this one of the major things besides my PTSD being triggered. I just don't want to end up confused and in a place I don't belong.

Four times today I was complimented on my vintage decade mix matched outfit. The hat is 50's/60's and my dress is late 40's probably. Both wonderful Goodwill finds.

 

Origami

     

This song is beautiful...

 

Today after dropping kids off at class, it was time for wondering and writing. I wondered around downtown and looked in some shops, and looked at art. I ended up at a Coffee Bean & Tea leaf where I drank iced tea, did some free writing and wrote a poem. I also wandered around Low'e looking at things it would be nice to have.....

OOTD:
Top: Torrid
Skirt: Torrid
Shoes: Payless
Choker: Torrid

You're Still A Mystery

So, I sit here watching the Cubs play the Dodgers at Wrigley field. My family is hoping the Cubs win this game. We just returned from a parent class for one of our kids who is in religious education at our local parish.

My life is full of so much love and so much pain. This is just how it is. When the catechist talked about stigmata, and my mind wandered to some of the trauma in my life that has been stirred up by recent events, I got that familiar tinge of pain in my hands. It wasn't too painful or searing like it has been in the past. The tinge was enough for me to know Christ has me in his presence and I can call on Him or the Saints when in need.
In an attempt to finance Christmas, and to get a new denture I am looking for some part time work in retail. So here's to seeing what is in store for me.
The vermiposting book that was lent to me is no too serious, and not too cheesey. It is indeed just what to read and not be overwhelmed.

OOTD:

Top: Pinup Girl Clothing

Skirt: Torrid

Choker: Torrid

Glasses: Zenni Optical

Song of the Day:

 

Sign of the Times

today's ootd: 

Dress: American Horror Story via Hot Topic clearance rack

Shoes: Christian Soriano via Payless store closing

Glasses: Zenni Optical

Earrings: Beetlejuice via Hot Topic

My life has been full of ups and downs. I move on and forward. So many losses this past year. This song sums it up...just listen. I am stuck on Harry Styles first solo release.

Self Care

Update
I have been terrible at blogging as of late. Forgive me. Since my last post here are two of my favorite outfits I have worn. I have been on some adventures since mu last post, hosting an art workshop for 'tweens and teens, trips with my kids, now I will be starting a volunteer position at my local library. I always wanted to be a librarian.
Tomorrow my oldest son will accompany me to an exhibit opening at a museum that is local to us, I am so excited!  have been waiting quite some tome for this exhibit. Last month I joined Las Comadres Bookclub, I can not wait for this months discussion. You should check it out!
Currently I am looking at my options to study Chicano/a Studies and maybe getting a degree. It is something I am very passionate about, I might have to add Native American studies into the mix. It's kind of funny-sad how I fell into self educating myself on these subjects. That is a story for another day.

Lately I have toned down my TV time and have taken to listening to more music. I have refallen in love with Third Eye Blind's first album.  I splurged last month and got in on Vinyl.  I have decided when I do NANOWRIMO this year it will be my muse. I have my idea mostly sorted out and my kids will probably know all the songs at the end of next month.
These things I have been doing are all part of my self care.
Self Care is very important to keep your sanity. It is not selfish or a luxury.

 




Self Care Weekly Goals (Friday-Friday)

• Quilt Exhibit and Art
•  Egyptain Exhibit Opening
• Free Writing
• Indian Tacos from Pow Wow
• See Metalachi
• Go to Mass at least twice
• New lipstick
• Two OOTD posts
• Pachuca Prsentation
• Tacos with Carol
• Tacos with Natalie
• Finish two books

Outfit Breakdown
Top Outfit
Dress-Davids Bridal (Goodwill)
Shoes- TUK Footwear via Amazon

Bottom Outfit
Dress- Torrid
Hat-Unknown Maker (Goodwill)
Shoes TUK Footwear via Amazon

Glasses in both from Zenni Optical  



 Books and Music I am Loving Right Now