People Who Died

I have been in prayer and mourning for my cultural and religious holidays. My mourning has included both laughter and tears. I have been around death since as early as I can remember. It is a natural part of life, but even though I know that it  can still to be hard to process. My altar has been set up simple, and I sometimes eat my meals with my family and friends. i remember them while I pray for their eternal rest. It is in no way easy to let go of the feelings, guilt, sorrow, sadness, and I will never give up the feelings of hope and joy for one day reuniting with them.
As it turns out my anxiety was about this last night, about loss and death. About the realization of my age and what that means. When I lost my grandma last year it was the realization that parents are next in the natural scheme of things. I know many people my age who are adult orphans, that is the feeling they have. Now friends, and old acquaintances, they are leaving this earth. People my age lives are ending when it seems like mine is going through a new beginning. How does one process that, and now feel guilt and happiness weave together in a mish mash of soul bursting confusion? Life is a pandoras box of feelings.
For me I know I need to trek forward and let people know I love them and let them know how they have impacted my experience on this earth.


For you my departed
For you who have stamped your love and kindness
Onto the deepest regions of my soul
I offer up my prayers
That your eternity be that of joy and peace
That pain and sadness is a fight only your earthly body had to endure
That your grievances be left at heavens gates
And your ancestors greet you with the love
The love of your Creator
That your depature will one day comfort my soul
And the souls of others

(original offering AARS 11.02.2017)